So, this blog was originally created to talk primarily about let's-beat-cancer inspiration, with the occasional post about education, random observations about life, and expressions of gratitude. Now that I've beaten cancer (woohoo!), I expect it will become more the latter than the original intent. However, I will welcome continued thoughts about my experience with cancer, because honestly, its done nothing but good things for my life. I'm still planning on getting that elephant tattoo to permanently remind me of the lessons I've learned. Feb. 5th. Which reminds me, I need to make an appointment.
I've had several people in the past few weeks comment on how I look, and not the "you look good" type comments that I was so used to receiving as a form of encouragement throughout my treatment. Instead its for realz "You look GOOD. You look like you FEEL good."
Yep. They would be correct. I would argue that I'm healthier now than I was my previous 32 years of life. Its amazing how impactful focusing on sleeping, eating, and keeping active can have on how you feel from day to day. I remember all too clearly what it was like to walk around trying to function normally with chemotherapy attacking my system. I don't remember as clearly what it was like before that, but my daily life was all things sluggish, stressed, and tired all the time. That was my NORMAL. How did I live like that?
And, I'm going to get TMI for a second. My body tells me everyday how much healthier I am through my daily productions in the toilet.
#1 is beautiful, sparkling, clear, and hydrated. I can't make it through a single night anymore without having to get up and release the water that has been cleansing and hydrating my body. I got into the habit of drinking tons of water during chemo because of the threat of bladder failure. And I've kept it up pretty well since then.
#2 is...well no one REALLY wants descriptive adjectives on that...but I'll just say, I'm tempted to take pictures, and post it like everyone does with babies. LOOK AT MY CREATION! Its PERFECT. Poop doesn't lie, folks. I've created a healthier and happier life.
And exercise. So I bought a fitness tracker a few months ago. Love it. It keeps track of my goals. I have this need, since I was a student to be 100%. So when my sleep isn't at 100%, I go to bed earlier the next night. When my activity is not at 100%, I'm power-walking in circles in my living room (much to the confusion of the dogs) to get my step-count up. I went to Zumba the other day at the gym for the first time this season, and I stayed the entire hour. I used to stay for 20 mins or so and leave (pant...pant...pant.......no more today, please). Now I make it easily to the end.
I do need to work on improving the quality of my sleep though. Between having to get up for the bathroom at least once a night, and hot flashes, I rarely sleep soundly through the night. My fitness tracker tells me good job for the amount of sleep I get, but admonishes me for failing every single time to have a night of uninterrupted sleep.
I'm getting better though. The hot flashes are becoming less; my doctor told me this would happen. However, I have this thing that happens EVERY early morning, I've come to call it "the big chill". I always get a little chilly right before a hot flash is about to happen, but for some reason around 5:15am I get SUPER COLD. And I can't get warm until the hot-flash-of-all-hot-flashes happens 10 minutes or so later. Ug. So mornings are super hectic because I'm huddling under the covers and refuse to get out until I get warm/sweltering hot again, and then I'm rushing around and being late for work! I did find a half-way solution though. I keep my onesie yoda pajamas by the bed (yep, onesie yoda pajamas). So when its time to get up, I can pop out of the bed, strip off the damp hot/cold pjs I was wearing, and put on the amazing soft warm full body comfort that is YODA. I love my yoda pajamas. They were an impulsive purchase at Walmart when I was supposed to be buying dog food. No regrets.
And, um, my eyebrows. Where the heck did they go???? They grew back in super nice, and then they thinned out again. Grr! Possibly a side effect of the Tamoxifen. I think I read something about hair thinning. But its only the eyebrows and armpit hair <-- not complaining about that one.
And I got my THIRD haircut today. :D
Changed the color too. "Walnut" brown this time.
Before: (officially out-of-control. The chemo-curl struggle is real!)
After: (she really didn't cut much. Just tamed the out-of-control parts!)