I was offered the job. I'm on the cusp of accepting it. There are sensitive and complicated variables involved in the timing. I want to make sure I'm doing right by myself, my superman, and my workplace.
I went to yoga last night, and the complete stranger who was sitting next to me at the end of the class said "I don't know what you're going through, but I can assure you its going to be alright."
I had to physically restrain myself from laughing out loud, but instead smiled and said thank you and ran the other direction (and then awkwardly stood with her at the cross-walk). If I go too long between yoga classes, I tend to spend the entire time with silent tears running down my face. Its really weird. And I'm not like sad or mad or any typical reason to cause waterworks. I'm just OVERWHELMED and haven't done a good job of keeping myself BALANCED. Ug.
Hopefully resolution is coming soon.
I had a conversation with superman last night regarding how I run and hide from my problems when things are difficult. It further supported that I'm making the right decision. I need to be happier. I need less conflict in my life. I need a job that resonates with my natural state of being (not disciplining teenagers. you can't avoid conflict when you are in charge of a classroom.) I don't know what I envision for myself with this position. It could just be temporary until I figure something else out, or it could turn out to be really great and I do it longterm. I do know, I am excited about using my degree to make music and still doing classroomy type things, but without all the crap. I can't continue to do what I'm currently doing any more.
The conversation with superman prompted me to look up INFJ pictures on pinterest all morning. These were my favorites:
Gratitude, Acceptance, and Healing. I am grateful that I have the ability to change the things that are no longer acceptable, and contribute to a lifetime of healing.