Something I've been struggling with this week is my viewpoint of the future. My thoughts have been primarily focused on the present and the immediate next step in my treatment. Until the next Star Wars Trailer came out. Totally awesome. Totally excited about it. And then the final screen: December 2015.
What is my life going to be like in December? There's two possible paths. The road to recovery. Or the alternative. And I got very scared. I started thinking irrational thoughts like, what if I leave this earth before I get a chance to see that Star Wars movie. How tragic!!! I'm being kind of funny here, but at the same time serious. There's no reason for me to be thinking this way. But its there.
When we did our 1-2-3 Let it go - compost. This is the poisonous thought I put down out my fingertips.